Dear Prime Minister,
I'm a bit sick of playing Cinderella to your wicked stepmother (in cahoots with the ugly sisters a.k.a. your loyal (?) minions.) Unfortunately for me, there is no Fairy Godmother in this tale - just you, ruling the roost - with exceptional malice – being a petty dictator.
And this is the third time you've done it. It's becoming a nasty habit.
The first was in 2015/16 (?) when, 10 minutes before I was to be picked up to attend the 'White Ribbon Ball' in Port Moresby, all dressed in my finery and ready to go, having been personally invited by an erstwhile mutual friend of ours, you decree from on high (probably standing on your wallet) that I was to "stay back" – the instruction relayed by our mutual friend, mine host.
The second time involved the 'Ban' on entry.
This time it was February 2018 and I was coming into PNG to attend a friend's surprise birthday party – a friend who is a senior member of your government.
By the way, why was my name put on the banned list - by you? (Neither Solomon Kantha nor the Minister concerned was aware of it) What article that I may have written, or act I may have committed, preceded you doing that? (How thin is your skin, Jellyback?)
To be clear, and so no one is in any doubt: I know you eventually lifted the ban – but not before you'd found the loophole that would allow you to send me back without having to shoulder the blame. "She lied on the form – she intended to work and she applied for a visitors visa," was the official explanation. Rubbish, of course. Read my mind, can you? Anyway, I missed out on that occasion too.
At this time, it was relayed to me that should I want to enter PNG again, I needed to apply for a journalist's visa – But really, that can't be right if I'm just coming in for a visit, can it? But anyway, being the fine upstanding citizen I am, when I was invited by Governor Parkop to attend his Gala Ball on 17th February (tomorrow as I write), as his guest, I decided to err on the side of caution and apply for a journalist's visa.
As per the instructions, (stated on the official internet page) I emailed both the Department of Immigration and the Department of the Prime Minister to ask for approval (the approvals to form part of the application for a visa.) That was at least six weeks ago – one department I emailed more than once. No reply has ever been forthcoming. I have been ignored - on whose instructions? You whistle, I'll point.
I see your hand in this, Prime Minister. I do, really, I do. It is consistent with your modus operandi. – he who will not be blamed. A psychologist would call this passive–aggressive. Me? I just see it as just plain cowardice.
So, no ban, but no visa either – which is as good as a ban, but better – it has the deniability factor.
What an embarrassment it must be to your parliamentary colleagues, when without a 'by your leave' – you ban their invited guests from the country. You show considerable disdain and a total lack of respect for them.
The thing is, Prime Minister, you're acting like a scared little weird guy. Of what are you frightened? That I may be mean to you in print? Golly, you have the whole apparatus of the state at your disposal and many millions of dollars of your own and government money also at your disposal – all I have is my pen.
You are like the snake that is tethered to the fountain, guarding it and stopping me from drinking – all the while forgetting that there are many more fountains – where the water is sweeter.
You are a nuisance, but no real impediment to slaking my thirst. And there is nothing stopping me from throwing stones at you from beyond your tether.
Prime Minister, you have done your worse – you've fired all the guns you have – I haven't.

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